It’s an honor and a privilege to be asked to be the best man for your friend, your brother and sometimes it’s even your father asking you to do this honor. One of the obligations and duties of the best man is the best man wedding speech. Oops! So you thought the only thing you needed to do was show up for the tuxedo fitting, pr0tect the ring at the ceremony, and most importantly….get the bachelor party show on the road! Sorry “Mr. Best Man”. You will also be expected to give a toast, more like a speech, to the bride and groom.
This is one duty that often times the best man dreads. The thought of giving this wedding speech is enough to keep you awake at night, especially if you abhor the thought of public speaking. All eyes and ears will be focused on you for several minutes. You don’t want to be remembered as the guy who gave the worst best man speech ever. That’s why the best man needs to have a well prepared best mans speech.
Spend the time writing a speech that not only honors the bride and groom, but also is emotional, entertaining and humorous.
Here’s our “short” list of the top Do’s and Don’ts for A Successful Best Man’s Speech. Of course this list won’t write the speech for you, but it will give you a good start towards writing a wedding speech that the bride and groom will appreciate and the guests will remember for all the right reasons!
DO’s FOR YOUR SPEECH:
- Prepare your speech! The last thing you want to do is be a “nervous nelly” or “incompetant jerk” when you get up in front of everyone. Remember…this is a tribute to the bride and groom.
- Take your time-you’ll get through it. A common nervous mistake of speech-giving is to speak rapidly and rush through the speech.
- Keep it light-hearted with some of your own injectin of emotion. This is where a lot of best men go wrong. They’ve got the jokes and the stories of days past, but they forget to let their friend (or brother…dad…etc) know how important they were in their lives and how you wish them all the best in their newly married lives.
- Compliment the groom on his choice of a bride and let him know how lucky he is to have found the perfect wife. Praise the bride.
- Remember who the guests are. Guests can range from young children to elder grandparents so keep the speech in line with theinvitation list (ask the groom…he can fill you in on who is and who isn’t invited and what to expect of the guest list).
- Draw upon your own memories and experiences with the groom (and his bride if you know her well). The more personal your speech is, the better it will be received by everyone and the easier it will be for you to give!
- Write notes on cue cards just so you can remember what you want to say. This is not an acceptance speech so there is no need for a long drawn out handwritten speech, however cue cards can help to keep you on track for what you want to say and are perfectly acceptable for any best man wedding speech.
DON’Ts FOR YOUR SPEECH:
- Don’t Use free rehashed best man wedding speeches that you find online. They’re stale! They been used and reused, and there’s a reason why these sites are sharing them with you for free…THEY AREN’T ANY GOOD! They don’t apply to your speech and it’s hard to get insync with a speech that was written for someone else. If your speech is about your owN personal relationship and experiences with the groom it will all go a lot easier and you’ll be able to inject your own feelings into the speech rather than trying to memorize a speech that you copied from someone else.
- Don’t be too stiff and stale or you’ll lose the crowd. On the other hand, your wit and humor should be tasteful and not offensive. Stay away from crude jokes that only you will appreciate.
- Don’t get cocky and try to be the “star” of the show. This is your best friend’s wedding day and it’s the bride and groom’s show..not yours. You’re not on stage at the Comedy Club…so keep the jokes to a minimum!
- Don’t overdue the alcohol before your speech. This is where a lot of best men really mess it up. They overdrink and indulge to boost their confidence. By the time they get up for their speech, they either can’t stand…can’t talk…or can’t remember. Save the drinking for after the speech and you’ll enjoy the buzz a lot more then.
- Don’t Mention the bride’s weight or anything at all that could be construed as derogatory about the bride, her family, or her friends. This seems so so obvious that it should go without mention, however you wouldn’t believe how many best men get this one wrong. Think…think…think!!
- Don’t bring up the groom’s past girlfriends or ronchie past evenings the two of you had out together. This will only embarass the groom…the bride…the bride’s family, and in the end YOURSELF!
- Don’t ramble on too long. A good wedding speech should be around 5 minutes. Anything too much longer than that and you’ll lose the interest of everyone at the wedding.